So, I travel by the ever over-crowded Mumbai locals everyday, during the oh-so-empty peak hours of 8 am to 9 am, and usually half-asleep.
On some fortunate days, I manage to squeeze myself into the First Class ladies compartment (only sounds royal. Only difference is the cushioned seats where I usually don’t get to sit anyway).
And for the 45 minute long journey from Mira Road to Bandra, on the depressing occasions where my phone and earphones are in my bag and I cannot think of anything to while away the time, I do two things:
- Observe random women around me.
- Imagine a parallel universe where I am rich,beautiful and famous (Don’t act like you’ve never done it).
Since point 2 is embarrassing to talk about, let us fixate on point 1. If you are a fellow sufferer of the torture that is the Western Railways, I would like to classify the women in the trains in the following categories and I think you would agree:
- The Optimist :
Now this lady always manages to see space in the train, even if there is none. You could honestly get her to convert fluorine to neon, because ek aur electron ke liye ‘jagah hai thoda adjust karo’.
- The Loudspeaker :
Now this lady is your daily source of migraine, and the reason why you never need coffee. She will be the one on the phone, from Virar to Churchgate, debating over the goodnight her boyfriend didn’t text her, at 100 dB (replacing alarms since 2014). And you are the privileged person to be party to that conversation. Because who needs two ear drums anyway.
- The Gamer :
Now this lady is a pro. She’s the best as they come and no one can distract her from her game. Not even the Dadar crowd can faze her. She’s unstoppable, determined and focused, in it to win it. At Candy Crush. You don’t get to level 468 just like that, you know.
- The Netflix and Chill :
This lady is the binge-watcher. From Virar to Churchgate, she’ll be glued to her iPhone 6 with the Skullcandy headphones, watching the latest episode of How to get away with Murder. And if you’re lucky, she’ll have the subtitles on.
- The Vulture :
Now this lady will be the one who jumps into the train, before it has even halted, just to lay claim to the sacred ‘fourth seat’. She will watch like a vulture (hence the name) , for someone to get up, just so she can sit all the way from Marine Lines to Churchgate.
There are many more categories, and so I will be making a second post. Sorry for the long leave of absence, no excuses I’m just lazy. If you’re wondering where do I fit in, I’m the one who is completing the assignment that was due yesterday, writing in handwriting that would make my general physician proud.
Do comment for any suggestions, or reviews, and do tell me which category do you fit in so I can judge you further.