Finally, peace. Or as much peace as there can be in an Engineer’s life in that sacred period between end semester practicals and finals. Studying computer engineering, all my practicals basically were just copy paste. Copy-ing and paste-ing codes from one folder to another which basically meant I knew nothing and learnt nothing. So when the final practicals rolled around, there I was, with 25 pages of code to learn for every subject, and having no idea which page belonged where. Fortunately, luck smiled upon me and I managed to code and get some sort of output for every subject except one. Which was a 25 mark viva.
Now if you are an introvert, you already know that speaking to a person requires a great deal of self-debate, self-doubt and courage. If you aren’t an introvert, let me tell you that for an introvert, speaking to a person requires a great deal of self-debate, self-doubt and courage. Now, COA, the subject which had only a 25 mark viva, is actually quite easy and fun. But when, like a typical engineering student, you leave 7 chapters to be done just the night before, every page seems like a herculean task.
Which is why, again, like a typical engineering student, I studied 4 out of 7 chapters, hoping Lady Luck would smile down once again.
This is pretty much how my viva went:
10 hours before the viva:
*It’s just a viva**How long can 7 chapters take**Bahut time hai kar lenge aaramse**Dude Game of thrones season 5 ka revision kar lete hai*
3 hours before the viva:
*Shitshitshitshit why did I not start earlier**It’s ok abhi bhi 3 ghante hai**4/7 is not bad atleast aadha aa jayega**Chill you got this*
1 hour before the viva:
*Wtf is IOP?**Is this chapter even there in the syllabus?**I swear she did NOT teach this in class**I haven’t even HEARD of this concept*
When the first student gets out of the viva and I hear the questions:
*OMG WHAT is that thing even?!**Wait, that part isn’t even there in the BOOK?!**Oh ok that’s from the chapter I left**Wait. Oh no that must be from the chapter I left as well**Wait it isn’t?! I did THAT chapter I SWEAR it wasn’t there**opens book**Oh there it is**Damn I’m flunking this*
When I’m the next student:
**rifles through entire book in 20 seconds*** Did this…left this…did this…heard of this…wtf is this….no time for this….left this….read the name will say some shit for this…did this 10 months ago*
When it’s my turn:
*Ok just remember to breathe**Say something bro don’t just keep shut just talk okay you got this**calm and chilled calm and chilled*
When I sit before the examiner:
*Goddamn why does she look so pissed**Do I look okay?** I hope my nerdy looks come of some use today finally**Please ask me from the 4 chapters I managed to glance through*
When I get one answer right:
*YYEEESSSSSSS!!**That’s how it’s done bros**I got this bruh**SLAYING**Goddamn Im’ma get full marks now*
When the next question comes from the chapter I left:
When I don’t know the next question either:
*SHITSHITSHIT**Was this even there in the book?** I haven’t even heard of this**Okay okay just look like you’re thinking real hard okay*
When I don’t know the third question in a row:
*I SWEAR THIS IS BEING DONE ON PURPOSE SHE KNOWS I HAVEN’T STUDIED THIS STUPID CHAPTER THIS IS PERSONAL VENDETTA THIS ISN’T FAIR NO WAY NO THERE’S GOT TO BE SOMETHING I CAN DO I CANT FAIL THIS GOD HELP AJHAJSDHJFHJDSHFJSHFJSHF*
When I don’t know the 4th answer either:
*plotting ways to kill her without getting caught (shoutout to all the tumblr murder hints)*
When I don’t know the 5th answer as well:
*Well there had to be a first time for an internal kt. Perfect. Just need to pass in all the rest now. Flunking this for sure. Might as well just look bored now atleast she’ll let me go*
When she tells me to leave:
*Hallelujah the torture ended. Do people with internal kts get placement offers?*
So, yeah that’s pretty much how my viva went. If you found this relatable, or not at all relatable (in which case you’re a frickin’ scholar, congratulations on your sorted out life, maybe consider lending me a few marks?) do comment.
As usual, reviews and criticism welcome. Positive criticism. Don’t be a jerk.
P.S. The stuff within *…* are thoughts. If you didn’t get it. Just saying.