The One with Satan’s Invention.

It’s that precious time of the year when you contemplate whether your graduate degree is even worth it.
Hi, semester exams. Or as I like to call it, Satan’s latest invention after unheard-relatives-doing-PhDs-on-your-marks.

So, I thought, a post was due with my usual thoughts during exams, none of which usually pertain to the subject.

4 days before the exam:
Oh so much time. I already know half the stuff. By the way, brain, know what we should do, watch an entire season of Supernatural.

1 day before the exam:
I swear there weren’t these many topics before. Wait, 15 chapters?! Oh OK, 20 pages each. I can do this.

While studying:
I must be on chapter 5 already. Wait, page 5 of chapter 1?! What sorcery is this? Why did I take engineering again?

5 hours before the paper:
6/15 isn’t bad. I should be able to solve half the paper easily. It’s okay. Let’s not aim too high.

2 hours before the paper:
“Arey scholar-of-the-class, I don’t care but for polite conversation how are you? Coming to the point, ye 6 chapter maine nai kiye. Khud ka revision chod mujhe inke important concepts sikha de please, then I’ll leave you in peace for the next semester again, till those exams.”

When I see the paper:
Okay, I did this topic. Saw this one upar upar se. This one, in the index, yes I remember. Did this one, okay I should pass easily at least.

Starts solving:
Damn, formula kya tha?! Was it +? Nai nai -? God, I did this topic. Help. Let’s go back to this later. Meanwhile, let us sing Colors by Halsey at top volume in our brains to remember the lyrics.
*repeat above for every question*

1 hour into the paper:
Okay, completed all I knew. Must be 15 minutes left now. *glances up* holy mother of God has the clock stopped?!

Solving unknown questions:
Okay the question seems similar to that previous one, let me apply the same formula. *can’t get the answer* *rechecks calculations 3 times* well must be close enough to the previous one *writes same answer*

15 minutes left:
Hey! I know this one! I’ll just need an hour to solve this one question worth 10 marks. *glances up* fuck.
*writes at speeds Usain Bolt would be proud of, pen runs out of ink, drops calculator on the floor, searches for another pen with ink, prays to all 10000 gods* okay I got some answer. Must be the correct one. *bell goes off, realizes formula was wrong* damn.

Discussing the paper:
Yeah I solved that too! You got that answer? Well, your answer is wrong. I NEED that answer okay. *stops discussing paper*

Honestly though, tell me if you could relate. If not, I have always known I was the abnormal one.

Until Satan’s next invention rolls around,


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