dogs

8 years with Buddy

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I remember seeing you
For the first time ever
I thought I must be delirious
Or suffering from high fever

For at 4 am on a Monday
Why would a black plastic bag
Be following my father
Or wait, was it a black rag?

It was only when sleep
Disappeared that I saw
My 3 year demand was fulfilled
Of finally owning a dog

At first you were so tiny
I could fit you in one hand
I would come home from school
And in my arms you would land

I remember our car trips
Your head hanging out the window
Your desperate attempts to jump out
Whenever the car would go slow

All those biscuits and sweets
And chocolates and pies
I’ve had to sacrifice
To your goddamn puppy-dog eyes

You’ve slaughtered all the doormats
And cushions in the house
You take them all and run
Like you’re being chased by mad cows

Every time when I cry
Before the tear has left my face
You consider it your duty
To lick it and my sadness away

Every time in this family
Whenever we have fought
You have done some silly deed
And laughing, our fight we forgot

You have been there for me
When I have felt most alone
Unloved and of no worth
You have pulled me out of that zone

The best part of my day
Is when I get to come home
Hear your over-excited bark
And see your tail whip to-and-fro

You hog all our food
You chase everyone away
You sleep in odd positions
At odd hours, and all day

You chase after other dogs
And dont know how to cross the road
When any of my friends come over
You go into over-enthusiastic mode

You’ve ripped apart my teddy bear
You’ve massacred all my toys
Yet you’re shamelessly possessive
When it comes to your own broken toys

You hate going for walks
And you hate taking bath
And you can eat 10 cups of ice cream
Even when you know the aftermath

You get so hyped up when we’re playing
That you skid across the floor
You choke on your own drool
And bang your head against the door

You never listen to me
And sometimes act like a nightmare
Then at night you snuggle next to me
And make up for the lost teddy bear

You follow me around the house
It’s like I’ve got my own tail
And whenever I drop the tiniest crumb
To sniff it out you never fail

You always jump up
And snuggle next to me in bed
Then you push me out
And spread out over it instead

You hold us together as a family
Something I alone could not do
You with your hilariously stupid antics
Act as our Fevicol, our glue

You hate people, exercise and baths
And love to sleep and gorge on food
It cannot simply be coincidence
Either you’ve become me, or I, you

When I have been confused and hurt
And betrayed, anxious and lost
In the darkness, I have reached for a hand
And instead found your paw

It has been 8 years and still
There is no way on earth
You can even begin to comprehend
How much you’re worth.

Happy birthday my everything.
Happy birthday Buddy.

Love,
EllieB.

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